I am sitting on the floor with my girl Lisa, messing about, laughing stupidly at our past psychodykos and the dumb things we have done for love as we paged through books on codependency. We were having a great discussion on the importance of being healthy before entering a relationship and continuing to stay on track with our stability while sharing our lives with one another.Swinger Sex Info Swinger Party Guide
Unfortunately, it would not turn out for the rest of the day to stay in this childlike foolish behavior. I would end up sitting silently watching my friend like a small child wrap her arms around her legs and dig her face into her knees as to protect herself from a furious blow.
Scared, terrified and with agitation she gazes up at me and says "tell me you're joking! Are you serious! Shut up Alex I know your just playing with me and it's not funny!" I look back at her, slightly sickened and hurt as to our discovery and calmly tell her "no babe I would not lie to you. I definitely would not joke like this or hurt you."
I look back down at my phone, filtering through my emails and the dates to make sense of it all but there really is no justification and the reality is scary, manipulative and hurtful.
As I read the emails from a third party who approached me as an interested reader of my work, my friend and I would soon discover that it was her most recent ex-girlfriend who had manipulatively tried to find out information from me as she thought there may be more to my friend's relationship with me. Subsequently, by the end of the following day the truth would come out and several actions would be taken to hurt and manipulate my friend further.
I felt horrible and saddened by her pain, and as she asked me why people whom we love hurt us, all I can say is "break ups are hard, they suck! And, unfortunately when we hurt we feel self-entitled to hurt others!"
Self-entitlement is a common word used in recovery and the addiction field; it's not surprising considering the amount of pain we will put others through in order to get drunk or high. However, addicts aren't solely responsible for this behavior, anyone can feel self-entitled and engage in behavior and thoughts such as "it's my rights," "I can do what I want when I want, where I want," "I am hurting more," "I don't care what you think I am still going to do it," and your typical victim thinking.
Everyone has to go through pain and sadly some more then others, but when you choose to identify yourself solely on that experience of pain you stay a victim and you will keep hurting, because after all you are a victim and to stay a victim you need to be victimized. That is where self-entitlement comes in, we become so self consumed by our pain that we give our self permission to be selfish and hurtful towards others to fulfill our own needs.
Unfortunately, it would not turn out for the rest of the day to stay in this childlike foolish behavior. I would end up sitting silently watching my friend like a small child wrap her arms around her legs and dig her face into her knees as to protect herself from a furious blow.
Scared, terrified and with agitation she gazes up at me and says "tell me you're joking! Are you serious! Shut up Alex I know your just playing with me and it's not funny!" I look back at her, slightly sickened and hurt as to our discovery and calmly tell her "no babe I would not lie to you. I definitely would not joke like this or hurt you."
I look back down at my phone, filtering through my emails and the dates to make sense of it all but there really is no justification and the reality is scary, manipulative and hurtful.
As I read the emails from a third party who approached me as an interested reader of my work, my friend and I would soon discover that it was her most recent ex-girlfriend who had manipulatively tried to find out information from me as she thought there may be more to my friend's relationship with me. Subsequently, by the end of the following day the truth would come out and several actions would be taken to hurt and manipulate my friend further.
I felt horrible and saddened by her pain, and as she asked me why people whom we love hurt us, all I can say is "break ups are hard, they suck! And, unfortunately when we hurt we feel self-entitled to hurt others!"
Self-entitlement is a common word used in recovery and the addiction field; it's not surprising considering the amount of pain we will put others through in order to get drunk or high. However, addicts aren't solely responsible for this behavior, anyone can feel self-entitled and engage in behavior and thoughts such as "it's my rights," "I can do what I want when I want, where I want," "I am hurting more," "I don't care what you think I am still going to do it," and your typical victim thinking.
Everyone has to go through pain and sadly some more then others, but when you choose to identify yourself solely on that experience of pain you stay a victim and you will keep hurting, because after all you are a victim and to stay a victim you need to be victimized. That is where self-entitlement comes in, we become so self consumed by our pain that we give our self permission to be selfish and hurtful towards others to fulfill our own needs.
